Lori Feilds

Along my artistic journey, I have run into some very inspiring people; one of those people date back to my days in high school, whenever I was a senior. I worked for her mother in the year prior, so I knew to be expecting a talent entering the pit section—that I was the leader of—in the marching band.She and I got off to a horrible start. I could say that I downright despised her. Musically speaking, she was quite better than me, so her demise was something that I would have been satisfied in as I exited my final year of high school. Once the drama of high school disappeared—for reasons I can’t recall—she contacted me via MySpace. I can remember a few Saturdays that she and I would hang out, go to the movies, and talk about our artistic journeys. I learned that she and I were actually a lot alike in how we practiced our trades as musicians, and since then I’ve come to have a great respect for who she is & and what she stands for. She’s kept in touch with me over the past few years since I left my home town, and just recently she’s began posting music videos of her performing original music on YouTube. With all of that being said I would like to introduce to my readers who may or may not know her: Singer/Songwriter; Lori Fields…

To see more videos from Lori check out her YouTube Channel.

Eclipse & The Love of an Eternal God

While praying for the confirmation to burn my books, I was given a word from the Lord that inferred the following: Don’t worry about it because you have the eclipse. I figured that it was going to be nothing more than another mile stone in my life; it was something that I longed to see for most of my consciousness, but what I was unaware of was the absolute wonder that the Lord would display to me--not just in the phenomenon of the eclipse--but in the revelation revealed to me as I peered upon it.

Eclipse

I left early that Sunday morning, and traveled some nine hours to Lubbock, Texas which was the last stop along the celestial event’s path.

Like most road trips, I prepared the music that I would listen to while I traveled. Bon Iver, Birdy, Trampled by Turtles, Soley, and—peculiarly enough—Veil of Maya were the players of this journey.

I got to spend the majority of the trip towards my destination speaking with a woman that I will one day call my wife. Through unnatural satellites we spoke about many things until the darkest hours of her night, and the brightest hours of my day. It was a pleasure to spend that time with her. I told her I loved her—through futile devices—for the first time since we decided to work towards a future together. My journey continued to mark miles in my life as our conversation faded, and I was on my own.

West Texas is a spectacle in itself. The landscapes are drastically different out there than I imagined. This was the first time I’d ever been so far west.

I saw plateaus manifested; much like I found myself spiritually on a plateau months ago, I saw in the distance the sudden rise of elevation. At its peak, it tapers upward into about fifty yards of flat land: an island in the sky. Upon these peaks were massive white windmills that gathered energy.

As I was viewing this site my CD player had reached track nine of the appropriately titled album Eclipse by Veil of Maya. A dear friend from Acadiana gave the record to me during my last visit to my homeland with the intent that I would find in my acoustic musicianship a respect for metal. The track—bearing the same title as the record—penetrated the seat of my emotions: a somber introduction that lands the listener into a droning genre contradicting circle that had me by the ears as it burned its unspoken message into my heart.

The narrative of Veil of Maya’s record is based on the story of a blind woman the band met in Europe whose vision was restored after starting directly at an eclipse. It was after hearing this song for the first time, recalling its narrative, and knowing what I was told by the Holy Dove, that I realized that I was on a intangible journey as much as I was on a tangible one.

I was tired from my drive when I arrived at Lubbock Lake National Historic Landmark: a very ancient and prehistoric place. There were statues of oversized armadillo, bison, and mammoths. I walked through the exhibits where they showed the grand exodus across Beringia, and into the Americas. The land is dedicated to an ancient spring fed lake that once existed until it dried up in the 1930’s due to modern day Americans digging water wells in the area. What was left behind is what would be an archeologist’s dream.

There I was, in a place that had been inhabited by human for thousands of years waiting for an event that would press into reaches far beyond my ordinary humanity.

A large covering of clouds had the view of the sun blocked for about an hour before the eclipse started. I was worried that it would prevent me from seeing the the show. With this, I soon began to recall my burned writings from 2007.

“It’s just eclipsing, and the overcast is commencing.”

A line from one of my songs—“Out of Aquarius”—from Constellation BluePrint, floated through my mind. This recollection brought a tear to my eye. What was once just a clever hook & a metaphor to one’s relationship with the Father, in a moment became fulfilled in my heart. The song had received its salvation from the fire that consumed it days before.

As the Moon’s transit began an applauds from the crowed followed. I covered my mouth, and again, tears filled my eyes as I watched the bottom right of the Sun begin to darken

The regeneration continued through out the event as I starred at the sun through the protection of a welder’s mask. Like the four hard corners of my writings of 2011--Monolith, the rectangular glass filtered the Sun in a green tent—like the image of the green sun that was assigned to “DreamCast & SolarFlare” in 2007.

The Sun soon set behind the clouds of the western horizon, so I was unable to see the entire event. I watched the sunbeams in the dusk light; my heart was filled with a joy & love of the Father that I was unable express through words, music, or any other futile device.

I was on my way home around nine that evening.

Tears filled my eyes as I waited at red lights in Lubbock to leave. Something that I’d longed to see for so long became the mile stone I thought it would’ve been, and was much more than that alone. The art that I’d burned earlier that week was given a soul purpose; it was as if the writings were all a prophecy that had finally come to fruition. What I thought those songs were about was destroyed in the flame, and were given a new life—something that only comes through Christ: made new through the vehicle of the eclipse.

On the ride home I reached speeds of at least 110mph on the back roads of West Texas. I sang hymns of praise to the Lord as I traveled. He had expressed a love to me that I’d not experienced before. I’d given myself to him in the book burning, and in return he showed his favor to me through the gift of the eclipse. He is the Lord of unequal exchange; for the small things we sacrifice, he gives back with an abundant return.

Standing outside my Civic peering into the night’s sky seeing for the first time an almost complete expanse I stopped on those dark roads that night to keep myself from the hypnosis of the early morning night. I’d never seen so many stars before. These were the main players in the writings of Constellation BluePrint, and finally--I’d seen them with my own eyes.

“…head for the stars…”

How Does One Drop Their Nets?: Deny Yourself

Sometimes we have to do the things that we're called to do without questioning the motives of the one who's given the orders. These were the words that I'd collected from my brain for over the past five years. I didn't have to go through with it; I was given the chance to opt out of the situation. Somehow I knew that this was the answer to one of the four questions I've had on my heart for the past few weeks: "How does one drop their nets?" I posed this question to Jehovah & the rest of the Trinity. Denial of self is a strong theme and commandment within my sacred text, and was spoken by Christ Himself. All those words; all those songs; all those hooks, and phrases are now dust. I'm reminded of words that have been cultivated in the flowerbed that is being prepared by the father: "When you die from what you used to be, I found who I was in the man that was left of me"--"From ashes to dust."

Drink Green, Never Decay Your Color

The image that you’re seeing is the underside canopy of a tree in my grandmother’s front yard—the house where I grew up. As a child and into my early twenties, I watched this tree grow into the beauty that it is today. This image is one that has stayed with me since I first took this picture back in the early two thousands while I was still in high school. What you see today was taken only a few months ago however, but the image has existed many a time before. A flood of emotions and experiences roll through my head as I gaze upon the branches that twist & turn, outline & underline, and support the viridian, almost spherical leaf canopy that casts a shadow to the ground below.
Towards the end of my junior year—I believe—was when I first noticed this spectacle in my own front yard. I never realized that something so beautiful could be in place so close to home. I grew up in Acadiana where a true representation of a patriarchal society is brought forth, and played out through the inhabitants of the land. That means that anything that is artistic, magical, and supernatural—that is, short of what’s going on at the local Pentecostal church—is not recognized as sacred, or worth investing time, money, or passion in.
The image remained a constant in my portfolio, and in my mind; it was a testament to my new found drive to create art through music, light, and word. However, as I said previously, these concepts were not something that could easily survive in the heartlands of Acadiana.
With a pressure being built up around me, I longed to escape the place that contradicted everything that I believed in as a yet to be self recognized artist; With that—after I graduated—I left the small town I’d lived in my whole life, and moved to the northern lands of Acadiana where I settled among seemingly more like minded folks in search of a pedigree.
While in those northern lands, I learned of many things: drugs, parties, the homosexual life style, and black magic. All the while leaving behind my now treasured indoctrination of my youth, and the oppression of the arts.
Spiraling downward, I crashed into the ground, and to my dismay the only option I had from that point on was to head back south: leaving behind my dreams, and unfulfilled destiny to become something more than another product of the South Louisiana lifestyle. I thought this was where I would place my roots, but the all oats that I’d sewn never made through the winter’s first frost.
And so, I found myself under the same canopy that I progressively saw as beautiful, then disdainful, and in my return: regretful. I was broken worse than I was before I left, and I had no effort left to find my place, or begin any repair.
Under the sphere of the canopy, the pressure was back on. I had to resort to a plane B, but there was none. With my new drug rituals, broken relationships, and unthoughtful behavior, I bode my time. I was more alone now that the caravan I originally left with was still north of me. I dove into the spiritual realm, and embraced it through my art. I found myself in a cosmic, super-terrestrial existence where I met the creator of the universe, and the savior of my soul, Christ Jesus.
It was through Him, and his guided tour that the pressure that surrounded me began to cluster around my feet. As the once weakening force prepared me to launch, I turned my eyes to the canopy above. Not sure if this time I would have enough fire and thrust below me to propel me far enough away from Acadiana that there would be no turning back, I became swallowed by the fear that I would fail.
Gripping to my Savior—that he would ensure my lift off—the engines ignited. Pushing through layers of branches, regrets, wasp’s nest, and finally leaves, I punctured the top layer, and I found myself relieved of the gravity that once held me to the ground as viridian leaves, sparks, and glittering dust softly trailed behind me. I safely landed in the northern suburbs of a densely populated metropolitan area, and my roots took to the topsoil.
 In my last voyage to my native land of Acadian, I walked back to the tree that was once an expression of my pain and difference. I peered under the canopy in the bright spring sun, and took this image with my H.A.L. 2010 device. To the naked eye the image is still as astounding as it once was, and even so with two million pixels less than when it was first recorded.
 It’s not about the context in which the photograph was taken, but what is represented by the image itself. What once was a barrier in which had to be broken through, has now finally become what it was originally intended to be: part of my portfolio. Only this time, I know why.

Plateau

Tomorrow I have a pretty long bike ride; it's going to be pretty exciting--like a long road trip. I'll be the guy with who is illegally listening to his head phones, riding with no hands, all the while thinking I'm to coolest kid on my candy apple red Giant hybrid.
I've found myself on this plateau. I've heard it called the pink cloud. I've heard it said that I should ride it as long as possible; I don't know what that means, or if that's a good idea or not. Either way, this is a new place.
This is a place where there is an ledge in every direction. It's a flat island in the sky with no ropes, latters, or vines, but the only direction I long to move is up; my only option is over the ledge.

Late Night Cafe: Yellow Bricks

I'm sitting here on an early Tuesday morning hours before I'm off to work; I've been sharing words with a gentleman from my past, and listening to songs that I love & some that I've never heard. You're welcome to join me in this rut of sorts. "Where have I been?", I ask, "Where is this place?" Let's let everything crash down around me, and when the Earth below me stops shaking, then I'll gather what's left worth salvaging. It could be said that I'm giving up on some things; It could be said that I'm just redirecting my focus. It all seems to be according to the season that I'm in. 
"Your love never fail, and never gives up; It never runs out on me."
I'm thankful for such words that were giving to me from my dearest of friends. They are words about a god: a god that we have both clung to. She's a different kind of woman. We've been through many Summers without each other, but I long to see the world from the eyes of those Summers so long ago.
"Can I come home for the Summer?"
An eternal Summer in each others company: A life of magic, searching for Christ, and love. What is it to return to that place? What is it to rediscover that long lost masculinity, so that it could embrace her femininity? I can only wait and see.
I've closed my boarders, and have retreated from those territories that I have only found to be lands of wasted efforts.

Hands on the Wheel

“At a time when the world seems to be spinning hopelessly out of control,There’s deceivers and believers and old in-betweeners,That seem to have no place to go.Well, it’s the same old song, it’s right and it’s wrong,And living is just something that I do.And I found myself in you.I look to the stars, tried all of the bars,And I’ve nearly gone up in smoke.Now my hand is on the wheel, I’ve something that’s real,And I feel like I’m going home.” -Willie Nelson 

The last stanza in these words by Willie Nelson is something that I love to talk about: “Now my hand is on the wheel, I’ve got something real.” The writer shares an experience of solace, but what I find most curious is the connection that is made towards the concept of driving, and the human experience. For me, there is nothing better than a long drive on a summer’s day in my Honda Civic with the windows down, the sun roof open, my latest mix CD blasting, a pack of cigarettes, and a vente’ latte’ with four sugars in the raw & a honey from Starbucks; Pop it into 5th gear, hit 70mph, and set the cruise control.
Bliss
The truth is that almost everyone can relate with me—give or take a few details. As I build on this, I ask that you come back in time with me to whenever you first started driving. Either we started at 15 or 16 years old like the typical American, or you were like me: sneaking out of my window at two o’clock in the morning to take my grandmother’s Ford Tempo on a joy ride before I was licensed. We all longed to drive, to be in the driver’s seat, with our hands on the wheel.
Since the turn of the century, vehicles have become an expansion of the human condition: a step in our evolution as a society. They are tightly woven into the very fabric of our being, especially for an American, and even further more as a Texan. This extension of one’s self can be seen in us as we survey though the various makes & models, body styles, and colors. We need vehicles to meet our needs, and want them to represent us:
The Masculinity of an F350
The Off-Road adventure of a Cherokee
The Vogue of a Civic
The Quirkiness of a Cube
The Family-Minded of a Sienna
Or the Simplicity of an Elantra
We choose our beast wisely because we have to like them, but more importantly because we have to trust them. So, every morning when we get in and start our vehicle to go wherever it is that our day calls for, we are securing who we are as motorist in an almost completely vehicular driven society. But what happens when paradise has been interrupted? What happens when on that morning you get in, and the vehicle doesn’t start? What happens when the very thing that you’ve come to put your complete trust in becomes untrustworthy?
“I need my car to go to work tomorrow”
“I have three kids; I have to have my vehicle”
“I use this truck for my work!”
These familiar words have been our own in the past, and will inevitably enter our vocabulary again in the future. What is unfortunate is that with the rise of computer technologies in vehicles, it has become almost impossible for someone to do any repairs on their own without thousands upon thousands of dollars in training, equipment, and time to take care of the problem themselves? Our only option now is to bring our vehicle to a technician, but who can be trusted in an industry that is known for foul play.
I come into contact with situations like these almost every day at the shop, and one thing that we’ve come to know is most important to people is: “Can I trust the person I’m leaving my car with?” After all when you’re vehicle is down, it can put your whole life on hold, so when in this position you should always consider the following: 
  • That your situation is being handled by a professional that would treat your vehicle like it was their own financially and mechanically. They should be completely prepared to guide you in the best route that you should take whenever it comes to repair, so that the money you’re investing into your vehicle is appropriately used.
  • The skill level of the technicians that will be working your vehicle is also extremely important. An L1 technician is the highest certification that one could receive in the industry. Ideally you want one of these technicians working on your vehicle, or supervising the job being done by another ASE certified technician.
  • Lastly, and most importantly, a big part of any shops credibility is that they are willing to stand behind their work, and warranty a job for at least three years or 36 thousand miles. 
Three years ago whenever Ms. Lynn asked me to join the Beckwith’s team, I thought that I was being hired on to just another random shop. Never being exposed to the industry, I soon found that I had been given the opportunity to be part of a company that had been recognized locally & nationally multiple times prior to my incoming. Year after year Beckwith’s Car Care has been rewarded for its excellence because we have followed the model that I’d previously mentioned.
Excellence and Outstanding performance is not something that we do just for your vehicle. We are constantly looking for ways to stay active in the community. Through the years we have worked closely with the Humble Noon Lion’s Club, Go Red for Women, and has given out many copies of the U.S. Constitution to say the least. Not to mention our recent political involvement with the City of Houston to better protect you as the consumer from a potential threat.
I do have to say that I’m pretty proud of the grand scheme of things, but what has been most honorable for me was to see the shop achieve the status as one of the TOP TEN SHOPS IN THE NATION chosen by Motorage magazine. For the first time in my career at Beckwith’s I saw our hard work and dedication come to fruition.
I like to believe that customer service is something that comes natural to me, and I think it’s clear why I have made a nest at our shop. We believe that automotive repair should be as painless as Susan Curling could make before you were to go to surgery; that’s why we offer a shuttle to just about anywhere, drop of and delivery, and a rewards program. We believe that your vehicle’s maintenance schedule should be adapted to your personal schedule and driving habits, and—like Celese Pauley—we only use the best products formulated to keeping your vehicle healthy. Lastly, we also believe that you should be given the same peace of mind when you leave our shop as when you leave the office Ed Dormer; that’s why we offer a Lifetime Protection Plan for all of your vehicles that can assist you financially in the event you have a break down in the future.
So, with all of that said I would like to close with some words of encouragement that I personally believe in. At Beckwith’s Car Care we are your blue collar doctor for your extended vehicular self, and as the evolution of vehicles continue towards the future you can count on the fact that Beckwith’s will continue to know and understand YOU and your vehicle regardless of make & model. Our customer’s drive happy cars because the driver is confident, and in that confidence of driving a vehicle that you can trust, I am satisfied that on that long summer’s day road trip that I hope you’ll take in the ensuing months that you can experience the same joy that I have come to know as absolute BLISS.

Christian Denomenations & Theological Warfare

Like most religions of the world, the Christian faith is divided into many different denominations and sects that are based off of their own interpretations of the sacred text that they follow. Because of the inconsistent interpretations of the text, the Church of today is left with no one true understanding of what it means to “go by the book”. This leads individual Christians to question their faith: its traditions, its declared moral character, and its perception of how one sees the god that they worship. Even though understanding the path set by the examples within the sacred text should be the foremost important thing in a faith that promotes love and unity through Christ Jesus, the Christian majority does not address these differences appropriately outside the walls of their own denominations, thus leaving the church in a theological war.
The Bible—the ancient and sacred text of the Christians—is full of many different and controversial grey areas, topics, and themes that are not completely understood by the Church. These include ideas such as: civil rights (oppression of woman & the nature of homosexuality), traditional anomalies (the relevance of baptism & communion), ways of practice (charismatic vs. conservatism & moral behavior), and the concept of who Jehovah God and Jesus Christ are. These hot topics within the faith can be interpreted in many different ways depending on how you look at the context that surrounds them.
One thing that is clear in the Bible is the unity that is to be had between the parishioners of the Church. The Bible describes the Church as a whole as a the body of Christ; some are the feet and some are the hands, but more often than not the body does not communicate very well on who is the head—or better said as who is right in there interpretations and practice. This has left the divided Church in a theological war that is rarely spoken about in a public and sensible debate.
 For example, one might hear from the pulpit of a Southern Baptist pastor that the Catholics are wrong because of their practice of the Eucharist and the baptism of newborn babies; while in reverse, a Catholic priest would stress the importance of these rituals as vital to a secure walk with Christ. Though each authority figure from both denominations have the scholarly wisdom to back their claim, it is rarely addressed between the two of them that there is an inconsistency within the faith that subscribes to the same deity.
 Another look at this denial of disagreement is seen between that of the charismatic denominations that practice the Gifts of the Spirit and the conservative denominations that do not. These gifts are associated with such phenomenon as: glossolalia and the interpreting of it; prophetic visions and dreams; and other forms of being filled with the Holy Spirit that are not limited to things like dancing, shouting, running around, and unprovoked laughter. In part these gifts are found in the book of Acts from the Bible, when on the day of Pentecost the Holy Spirit came down, and was finally made accessible to all humanity. The conservative view of this major event in Christian history is presented in a seemingly more practical view that accepts it as a miracle that happened once, while the charismatic sects of the faith see it as more supernatural moment that continues to take place today confirming the status of salvation. However, to find authorities between the two sects that agree on what exactly happened on that Holy day is rare.
This leads parishioners to have skewed view of who Jehovah God and his son Jesus of Nazareth are. Questions of the confused ring out asking: “What does the Lord expect of me?” and “How should I practice my faith correctly?” “Why would God leave me with no concrete answers?” And who wouldn’t ask questions about a matter that would determine where they spend the rest of their eternal existence, and how they stand in the eyes of their creator?
Each denominational view shows Jehovah God and Christ Jesus in an array of perceptions from the angry god set out to destroy humanity; the counting god, who keeps a register of all deeds; or the ultimate hippie god, who sits in campfire circles speaking of peace and love. With each different understanding of what kind of god it is that one worships, the behavior and moral character of said individual will vary; this leaves an inconsistency with how it is that Christians are to interact with each other and behave within society.
The final question that remains is: What is a Christian to do with their faith, and the overt disagreement between each denomination? Sadly, the answer is not easily found, and it could be said that the effect of these inconsistencies will not be resolved until the day that the Lord returns—as prophesied in the book of Revelations. One of the great leaders of the Christian faith, Paul, once said that parishioners are to work out their salvation with fear and trembling, so until the day of Christ Jesus’ return to establish his ownership over all creation, Christians should be more conscious of that fact that the disagreement amongst themselves could ironically keep them from the very thing that they are striving for.
 In conclusion, the theological inconsistencies amongst Christian denominations and how they interpreted the Bible are keeping them divided; by this they are not able to be complete as the Body of Christ, and are not able to fully understand how it is Christians are to live for and perceive Jehovah God and Christ Jesus. Until these issues are laid to rest, and the war that wages between denominations subsides, Christians will continue to question how their faith is to be walked in.

The Spirit and the Body

As humans we are subject to our basic experiences as such. This involves the concepts of the Sprit and the Body. Since the dawn of our history, humans have constantly tried to find the balance between the two. We work to preserve our bodies that house the intangible existence of our spirit. Like the egg and the yolk, the Body and the Spirit are one in the same, but the methods of which they are preserved, handled, and experienced are two very different concepts.

We first understand ourselves through the Body. As babies our basic instincts are to find a way to preserve the Body that we are.  Eating and sleeping are the only basic requirement that we are to fulfill for ourselves at this point—it’s the only thing that we are able to do on our own. We are dependent on our parent or care takers to provide a place for these activities to be facilitated. 
It’s not quite understood when the Spirit becomes activated within the Body. It is speculated that this occurs after the developmental phase of the Spirits housing is congealed. Some have referred to this as awareness: we become aware of ourselves as I, self, and me. Humans have organized institutions that are directly related to the existence of the Spirit i.e. churches, synagogues, and mosques.
Despite the Body and Spirit’s unity they are very different. This is seen in the motives of the two.
In reference to the Body, it is an animal. Like when we were babies, it is prone to acting on its basic instincts and experiences. If the body is hungry it will drive the human to find food. If the body is tired, it will drive the human to a place of rest. The body only knows to preserve & comfort itself, and at times will seek these things at whatever cost is necessary. Because of this, the body is prone to developing routines, habits, and addictions. Ultimately, like all animals, the body will die.
The Body is a limited creature. It can only comply with the laws of the universe in which it is a resident of. It is frail, and non adjustable in the fact that it cannot leave its environment without the proper suiting. The Sprit, on the other hand, is much more efficient in itself.
The Spirit has been called many things in the time that we have been aware of  its existence; the mind, the inner self, the soul, essence of self, and consciousness are just a few of the terms used to identify what is being addressed as the Spirit. Though the very concept of the human spirit is at times a very controversial subject, for the sake of this writing we will—simply—define it as such: the part of the human identity that is intangible.   
According to Christian theology the Spirit is not able to exist without a body to inhabit. Its existence has never been fully proved, nor has it been disproven by modern day science. Most people would say that it exists in a place called the Spiritual realm. It is not agreed upon on any exact way that one is to maintain the spirit. It is said that each human is to learn that for them selves. In the past many humans have gone on spiritual quests to fully know & understand what it is to connect with their spirit & the realm in which it resides.
From my own personal experience I have found that the Spirit is the very essence of self. The spirit is the driving energy that allows for the heart to beat, and upon the Spirits exit from the Body, the body no longer lives. If one was to recall whenever they have seen the dead body of a loved one at a funeral, they can account—either saying it to themselves or hearing someone else say—that it is as if the loved one weren’t there even though their body is.
The Spirit and the Body have both affected the world & human culture; they both seek to understand and create. It is known to me that the Body—a creature of this tangible world—is responsible for the architecture, the sciences, medicine that we have, while the Spirit—a creature of the intangible realm—has made way for cultural movements, the essences that provoke art, and the harness for our deepest emotions. 
Though they are very different creatures, the Spirit and Body are one in the same. Every human has both, for without one or the other, a human one is not. To find the balance between the two one must learn to handle with the care each of the two by sustaining them in the separate ways that are required.

Co-dependency by Stasiowski

Co-dependency is easier to fall into than some might think. If you play your cards straight from the beginning it's fairly easy to have a healthy relationship. I think of unhealthy relationships as a cascading effect that expounds on itself. It starts with disharmony between two people. It really could be anything.

Let's say boy meets girl. They have differing personalities and he can't exhibit his strong points ([because] she overlooks them or is not interested in those particular traits) and thusly he spins off into a negative state. He takes on a purely beta state and this exponentially emasculates him. He can't climb out of it, he internalizes this and becomes bitter. Resentful towards his partner he attributes his misery to her. Any outward action from her outside of the relationship is detrimental and perceived by him as betrayal and disloyalty. He has lost his alpha and cant keep her at bay, so he grows increasingly worried and upset, constantly fussing at her. The love is lost, it's more of a desperate melody, just a desperate attempt and maintaining his masculinity through the partner by commanding her presence.

Now, I've only outlined the catalyst for the males side of co-dependency. People's perspective of who should be alpha and beta whether male or female in a relationship differs with opinion but I believe there need be one subservient and one leader. Either can work, but I don't think 2 betas will last. But still, subject to differing opinions.

Co-dependency and remedying this; hm, let's just say when you go skydiving, it looks and seems like a great idea, but jumping out is terrifying. What happens if the shoot doesn't work, what if something goes wrong, what if you don't make it back to the ground, what if you die?!

These are all very real thoughts a co-dependent individual may encounter when speculating a breakup. Intellectualizing the severance from a codependent relationship will deliver you no further into liberation than sitting in a plane and refusing to jump out will put you back on the ground. Don't think about it, bc the rationalization will talk you out of it, you'll bargain with yourself for more time, or a lesser penalty by making a different decision. Just jump, plus, it's fun on the way down, and when the adrenaline settles, you'll have a fantastic story to tell that is sure to grab the attention of many people.

Co-dependency cultivates within itself, as does independence.

-Wise Words by Stephen Stasiowski.

Why I Love or Hate Religion

One of the latest viral videos to hit the scene is called "Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus." It seems like this is the first time in a long time that Christian has found some pretty significant play in the mainstream of YouTube. The video itself--in my opinion--could have been done better as far as aesthetics are concerned, but I believe that this guys message is pretty dead on with the same census as the typical modern day non-denominational church: Religion is bad; Jesus is good. Check out the video below.
Sine the rising popularity of this video plenty of responses from many YouTube(rs) have risen up, but one in particular has struck my fancy. It's a video performed by a man named Fr. Pontifex entitled "Why I love Religion, And Love Jesus." Fr. Pontifex bring a contradiction toward the words of the previous video. He talks about the importance of the church, and why religion is what Jesus brought. See the video below
I believe that this argument is one that is a very valid one in the church today. Quite often the issue is only recognized from a one sided argument, and never heard in a true debate. I think that both of these men make awesome points.
Religion has created the standards that have cause the world to hate the church.
Religion has made a way for the church to grow in the way that it has.
Those are both two very big aspects about the church that we just cannot ignore. However, the argument--like most debates--can go on for days, so I will leave you with a video that I first saw a few months ago that really set the stage for me with all of this Christian spoke word. This is the original spoke word video.

Houston Half Marathon

Tomorrow is the Houston marathon, and I will be running half of it. A lot of the past year has been hanging on this moment; I'm nervous and excited--happy and sad.
There is much more at hand here--you see.
He's going to be there. I'm going to see him for the first time in a long time. Part of me misses my friend, and the other part doesn't want to see him ever again.

I've made an excellent playlist of last years greatest hits; I have four hours to hear them.

I have four hours to see what my body is capable of.

Another Earth

Not too often do I see movies that absolutely blows me away. However, this past weekend I saw a movie that was unforgettably amazing. It’s called Another Earth by director Mike Cahill. It’s a story about a girl named Rhoda—played by Brit Marling—who, after an unforgivable accident while driving drunk, is released from four years in prison; She wins a ticket to a curious new planet that is seen in the sky throughout the movie that is appropriately titled Earth 2.
I highly recommend that this movie be seen, especially if you’re the kind of person who likes thing that are a little out of the ordinary: five bright and shiny stars!
To learn more check out the movies web page here.

Oh Mysterious Woman Lurking Around Atascocita

Since I've been living in Texas, I have met many people. A lot like when I lived in Patterson, Louisiana, I often see people that I know that I know. During this past summer I ran into an encounter with a girl. She works at Best Buy. The night went like this:
I was in Best Buy with my brother, Raymond. From a few isles away I could see her, and our eyes met. We carried on with a non verbal conversation for about three to five minutes saying,
--I know you--
--from where?--
--I don't know--
--Wow that's weird--
--I know--
Once the exchange took place across some fifty feet, we closed in on each other, and had a verbal conversation. We exchange names, and tried to figure out how we new each other; we came to no conclusion. 
The moral of this story is that I saw this woman tonight as I was lurking around Atascocita buying cigarettes. As I walked up to the store front to buy smoke she was walking out. I smiled, and waved at her; she excitedly walked to me with her arms open for a hug. We embraced like old friends do, but we're not old friends. 
It was a very interesting experience, and I look forward to the next time that I see her. What love can come from strangers. The most exciting part about the whole thing is that I may never see her again; tonight could have been the last time. The mystery is the bond between our friendship; what a blessing.

The Flat Earth Society

I absolutely love to hear about what people believe. I've come to know about a group of people with quite the peculiar worldview on the reality around us: The Flat Earth Society.

The name of the group speaks for itself. These people reject the common spherical model of the earth that was first speculated in the 6th century. The gist of what they promote is that the earth is flat; what is commonly known as Antarctica is actually a wall of ice that holds in the water of the oceans; the north pole is the center of the world; and the Sun, Moon, and heavenly bodies circle above us in the firmament.

I don't know exactly how I feel about what these people are saying, but I love the idea. For me is paints a picture of the world that would exist in the writings of Tolkien or perhaps an ancient tale passed down through the tribes of the Native Americans. I very much admire their courage to go against modern day world view.

Check out their website, and stay tuned to a follow up article for more details.

V838 Monocerotis & Nibiru

Back in 2007, while horribly high, I was one of the many who fell into the 2012 end times craze. I bathed my brain in the ideas presented by the conspiracy theorists. Since then I have become a little bit more discerning, but the entertainment value that I find in 2012 junk is still pretty overwhelming--so much that I can get pretty wrapped up in it as if it were the Spice Girls and 1998.
Anyhow, one element of the whole 2012 story is the collision between Earth and Nibiru. Back in 2007, I first saw this image of outer space that was alleged to be an image of the planet Nibiru on it's way to us.
Recently I have run across this same image, but more up to date. I have learned that this beautiful thing is called to NASA as V838 Monocerotis. While searching around the internet I found an awesome time lapsed progression video--that I would like to share--of the anomaly that is quite stunning.
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