Let's say boy meets girl. They have differing personalities and he can't exhibit his strong points ([because] she overlooks them or is not interested in those particular traits) and thusly he spins off into a negative state. He takes on a purely beta state and this exponentially emasculates him. He can't climb out of it, he internalizes this and becomes bitter. Resentful towards his partner he attributes his misery to her. Any outward action from her outside of the relationship is detrimental and perceived by him as betrayal and disloyalty. He has lost his alpha and cant keep her at bay, so he grows increasingly worried and upset, constantly fussing at her. The love is lost, it's more of a desperate melody, just a desperate attempt and maintaining his masculinity through the partner by commanding her presence.
Now, I've only outlined the catalyst for the males side of co-dependency. People's perspective of who should be alpha and beta whether male or female in a relationship differs with opinion but I believe there need be one subservient and one leader. Either can work, but I don't think 2 betas will last. But still, subject to differing opinions.
Co-dependency and remedying this; hm, let's just say when you go skydiving, it looks and seems like a great idea, but jumping out is terrifying. What happens if the shoot doesn't work, what if something goes wrong, what if you don't make it back to the ground, what if you die?!
These are all very real thoughts a co-dependent individual may encounter when speculating a breakup. Intellectualizing the severance from a codependent relationship will deliver you no further into liberation than sitting in a plane and refusing to jump out will put you back on the ground. Don't think about it, bc the rationalization will talk you out of it, you'll bargain with yourself for more time, or a lesser penalty by making a different decision. Just jump, plus, it's fun on the way down, and when the adrenaline settles, you'll have a fantastic story to tell that is sure to grab the attention of many people.
Co-dependency cultivates within itself, as does independence.