On the other hand, I wonder if I really do need this?

I don't think that I've ever known a time when I wasn't like this. Does depression constantly get worse as a person ages? What about whenever I'm an old man?

The thought of being an old man is depressing enough.

What if I walked out on my chance?

What if this is just another tactic from the government trying to keep down the people in my income level: leaving me addicted to yet another substance that I can't seem to let go of.

Tonight at church we did an illustration of asking for help. Everyone was blind folded, and in a square that was lined out by tables. They were told to find their way out, and if they needed help all they had to do was ask. After the "lost" tired from searching their blinded way out of the "maze", they asked for help, and the blindfold was removed.

I didn't participate; I facilitated it. The way it makes you feel whenever you have to present a message that you can't demonstrate yourself.

So, yes I understand the parallel, but...

outgoing/\/\essage;;;

how do I ask for help, Lord? One thing that I've come to understand about faith is that, Things are rarely what they seem, And there is more than just action required. But even if I were to do it so nonchalantly, The heartbeat of this message is to say, "Lord, I need you help!"