insecurity

My Masculinity

"To be a man you must be swift as the ________ ________" I've been living on my own now for a year now. The things I would tell my August of 2012 self.

Living on your own changes you. I was in a relationship of long distance, with a girl who I began to fall in love with; however, because of such distances my body craved things that were in arms length.

At that point I was seeing a friend regularly for beers, and marijuana. To follow would be the strangest of fruit, but the most common of spheres: we began to have sex with each other--he & I. I guess it would t have been as bad of a gig if I weren't courting with the missionaries out eastwards. That was the game I played, shamefully, and unable to look either of my lover's by the eye.

So now I'm calling King's Horse, and calling King's Men; they came, and then He came.

This morning I'm going to sit on the alter, and offer up my talent as a gift of perfume--at least that's how the orthodox Christian would say it; I preferable think of it as flashing my skill as to attract that cute guy in the audience.

That cute guy is God.

It's Sunday Morning

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